Thursday, October 05, 2006

Not Trying

I am a younger, unbelievably attractive woman, who just so happens to be single. Right now in my life, I am not gonna feel depressed, angry, or cheated about the fact that Mr. Right has not come knocking at my door! This may shock some of the more "multiply and replenish the earth at the age of 19 crowd" who have 6 kids, no money, no life, no education, and who enjoy spending all their energy cleaning and cooking and otherwise being the happy little housewife. This is in no way meant to be degrading to those who have chosen this life, it just would drive me crazy! I like (somewhat) the position I am in.

Minus a few minor changes I need to make, my life is pretty good! I have (finally) my education, I have a job (kinda falls into the change category but still...) which I am good at, I have family close by, and pretty wonderful friends. Who needs a dumb boy to come and screw that up! Just kidding! I am not anti-marriage or boys or dating even. I am simply trying to make my point that I am going to live my life, and when and if that boy comes along, I will roll right along with it.

Tell me if any of you have heard it before or if you are hearing it now from family or friends in regards to dating, etc:

"I wish that (insert your name here) would just try!"

Or maybe you have heard this one:

"(Your name here) just doesn't try!"

This one is a doozy though:

"Did you know (your name) that the risk for women having a child with Downs Syndrome is higher in women over 40?"

How exactly is that supposed to sound to someone? They say it is meant to be rude, but with what intention is it meant? It sure isn't least to me it isn't funny. It is especially not funny when you are out and about with these people and they say stuff like this to others whom you may run into.

I have not quite figured out why exactly I am not trying. Nor do I really want to get into it. I attend my church singles ward, I socialize. I may be living at home still, but that will change fairly soon. I went to school to better myself, and my situation, and meet new people. It isn't my fault that the entire time I was surrounded by four, not-so-good boys. There was a gay druggie; a married druggie; a single, pot head druggie; and a young, single try-to-be-good-wanna-be druggie. How can I compete with that?

Or, another good one I got was from a friend's BF. It wasn't directly told to me, but he posed the question that maybe I might be gay. I have just laughed that one off, but, to everyone else, it appears as though I am sitting at home with my frilly white dress on. In the meanwhile, twiddling my thumbs, just waiting for the doorbell to ring and Mr. Right on the other side come to whisk me away to the temple. Is that not what I am supposed to do in the Mormon culture?! ERR! WRONG! SORRY! NOT GONNA PLAY THAT GAME!

On the lighter side of things, here are a few pics of some random outings with my friend shameonyou21, and another friend Krissy:

Shameonyou and I went for a walk on the Jordan River Parkway trail in Lehi.
I stopped cause my feet were killin me, but Shameonyou was ready (as usual) for me with her camera in my face!

Same outing, just a rare time I actually pose for a pic.
I was not having a good hair/clothes/anything day on this one!

On Pioneer Day, I went golfing with Shameonyou, her boyfriend Randy , & another friend of ours, Krissy. Again, Shameonyou with her camera in action. I am not wearing white nylons either!

Me and Krissy searching for one of the many golf balls we lost.

Krissy was in a car accident a few months before this. The sad thing was, she
did better than both Shameonyou and I, & she was lopsided the whole time!

Shameonyou and I at a restaurant in Park City called "The Blind Dog"
Doesn't shameonyou look fabulous!!! It was her birthday!


jaime said...

I think you are wonderful...guy or no guy! :) Don't let those comments get to you. Sometimes family members don't really know how it is because their situations and perspective might have been different when they were your age. Just know you are loved just as you are!

P.S. Nice pics!

Kristeee said...

#1 - You're both gorgeous!

#2 - At least you didn't fall for the druggies.

#3 - Married folk can really be snobbish sometimes. Sorry.

#4 - I think it's way better to remain single until you find both what and who you want, than to just settle on whatever Y chromosome passes your way.

#5 - The "trying" thing doesn't change when you're married either. Then the question becomes "are you trying for kids yet?", as if it's any of their business. And it gets worse the older you are. Then you're reminded about your biological clock ticking away . . . as if you need reminders.

#6 - You're awesome just as you are. I personally think you only have 100% to give to trying. And, since you're giving x% to work, x% to family (being an awesome aunt), x% to making decisions, and so on, you simply can't be expected to dedicate 100% to finding a man. You could make a pie chart and map out how many percentage points you currently give towards everything, then make a second one with the men category upped 5%. Then you'd have evidence that you are trying, and even that you're trying harder. Or you can just say "in your ear" and leave it at that! :)

Queenmeadow said...

Great pics :)

Sometimes people say stupid things, it sucks but what can you do? besides tape their mouth shut ;)

You are fabulous and thats all that matters!

shameonyou said...

I think youre wonderful too. Gay or not gay. LOL. You know I'm teasing. Thats my job.

Its just the "Fam" mentality... more notably yours. Youre supposed to be perfect and somehow your being single probably reflects negatively on them lol. If you found a guy that was rich, educated, treated you like gold and was charming and funny they wouldn't like him cause he was chubby. They love you and they want you to have the best life possible. They just show it in weird ways.

And on an ending note.... being a spinster just gives you free rein to be oppinionated, ornery, well dressed, and well traveled. Theres always a bright side!

PS thanks for the compliment ::blush::

Anonymous said...

People can be so insensitive!! We have all eternity to be married...I say live it up!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, sweetiehead girl! Thanks for visiting my blog again--I'd lost your URL. It's good to hear from you!

amyjane said...

oops! The computer was still logged in as little brother! Sorry to shock you--it's me, Amy!