Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Becoming a Hermit

You can't take me anywhere anymore (as demonstrated by my previous post). My luck however, has taken a turn for the worse since that post.

"Worse?" You ask yourself. "Is that even possible?"

Oh but it is! Luckily, my luck didn't turn on me with my nose (or at least at this point nobody thinks it has). What I mean is just restaurants. Maybe this self-proclaimed food critic business isn't for me. Even though I have bad experiences with places, does not in any way mean that you will have the same bad experiences. In fact, I think you should try out these places WITHOUT ME, despite my bad reviews, and see what kind of luck you have. The only bright spot in any of this, is that I have been in good company. Unfortunately, some of this good company has finally told me that I have to sit in the car from now on. You be the judge, because I am starting to believe them!!!

In this post, I am going to give you the evolution of experiences, while reviewing the newer restaurants. In an upcoming post, I will just review a couple other restaurants. I am a little behind on my reviews, so I apologize to those of you whose experience does not appear in this particular post. I promise you it IS still coming.

We all remember the evil place in American Fork of which we do not speak. The bad service, the lame manager, the stupid servers. All that said, we had a couple of OK experiences in between to tease me, and then IT hits. (The word "it" is in reference to a not-so-good phrase about something hitting the fan. That's all I'm gonna say 'bout that).

Anyhow, this experience was not all bad. There were some bright moments to start, and then it was a good finish. Market Street Grill is an upper-scale (white tablecloth) Restaurant/Private Club/Oyster Bar. I have always wanted to go here, but since they are mostly "members only" and I never really had anyone express interest in going, I never did. I finally convinced Shameonyou21 and her b.f. Randoval that they wanted to go there too. They just opened a new place up in South Jordan on the other side of the freeway from the South Towne Mall, so we figured that now was as good a time as any to go. We didn't have to drive as far!

We got right in, and began to glance over the menu. We ordered drinks, and finally someone had a freaking blender to make me a Strawberry Daiquiri--virgin for me of course! We decided to be daring, and since we were at an Oyster Bar, we were gonna try some oysters! We ordered Oysters Rockefeller, and Calamari for appetizers. Then an eternity went by, and we got drinks, and then another eternity went by before we got our appetizers.

The Calamari was very disappointing. Especially for how much you pay for them. We didn't hardly get any! I get much more substance at that evil place of which we do not speak for far less $$$. Jerks! Anyway, the oysters were actually very fabulous. They are oysters on the half shell (half of the oyster shell with stuff inside), mixed with spinach, bacon, hollandaise (butter) sauce, and topped with a parmesan cream sauce with melted parmesan cheese on top. MMMM!!! I even got a history lesson from the waiter when I asked him what was in it. Although, he had to go ask the chef what was in it, and he took an eternity doing that too!!! If you are interested in the history of Oysters Rockefeller, ask me later!!!

Anyway, so the meal once it arrived was just average. I ordered Alaskan Halibut, Shameonyou21 ordered Ahi Tuna, and Randoval ordered a Prime Rib. I think Randoval liked his, but Shameonyou21's dish came VERY well done, not rare like she ordered it. I had soggy asparagus, and the fish was a little overdone too. Overall, nothing special about those.

Then came the finale. All night long, Shameonyou21 and Randoval were subjected to this ever-so-subtle screen that took up the entire wall, picturing a different variety of selections you can order there. Including which was dessert. MMMM dessert!!!

Shameonyou21 and Randoval both ordered the Raspberry Almond Torte (left), and I got the Sabayon (right). Mine had a stronger liquor flavor to it, and theirs had no flavor. That is probably why I didn't like theirs, and they didn't like mine. I got a scoop of Haagen Das vanilla ice cream with mine! MMM Ice cream!!!

I think I was a little disappointed overall, but I would have to go back and order a nice steak to really see if it was a fluke, or if their service sucks (toward me) just like everyone else. We got out of there in about 2.5 hours. Not exactly customer friendly!

Really quickly, I am going to give you a run down of my last restaurant. One that really screams at me that I need to just become a hermit and never leave my house again.

Mazza is a Middle Eastern style restaurant, in Salt Lake. They have a little shack on 1500 East/1500 South, and a MUCH bigger, nicer place on 900 east/900 South. We tried the smaller first, and they suggested we go try their other location to accommodate a larger party (8). After an hour wait to get in to eat, the waitress tells us the kitchen is a little backed up. That should have been our clue to get up and leave. An hour later (two hours total) we still don't have sodas, or food. We got appetizers about 30 min after ordering, but again we still stayed. Another 30 min. goes by(2.5 hours total), and the manager tells us they are traying up our food. 20 minutes later still no food.

Finally some food comes, and it is just kinda warm. Not hot like hot, cooked food should be. Everyone but me gets food, and 15-20 minutes goes by until I do (going over 3 hours now). No one is hungry anymore, and we just want to leave. We get our bill, and not only is it price, but they still want us to pay a FULL18% gratuity. Oh no you don't!!!

We tried to get the waitress to split up the checks so that those who were being reimbursed, could get a separate receipt to turn in to their company. She acts all put out, throws a hissy, and essentially walks off. She brings it back, and nothing is different, except for the fact that they comped one meal which she said would happen earlier. We get the manager to come over, and he has the nerve to ask us what's wrong!!! What in the HELL do you think is the matter you moron?! We have only been sitting here for 2.5 hours, plus we waited for another one hour to get in. The food tastes good, but there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in this world that is worth that long of a wait at a restaurant.

I got my meal comped also, because I complained enough and told him that it came way after everyone else's. As an observer of the industry, as a manager, I would do absolutely everything possible to ensure that people come back again. Whether they had a good experience, or a not-so-good experience. Throw in the apps, give me a discount on the order as a whole, do ANYTHING, except give me a bill at full price with 18% gratuity when it has been the worst experience ever. We still ended up having to split up our own bill, those who were to be reimbursed didn't care after 3.5 hours of dealing with this place. I think we underpaid the total bill, and stiffed them on any sort of tip.

Don't give me your lame excuses of only being open for 3 days, and you didn't anticipate being so busy. Obviously you did anticipate being a little busier since you built a huge new restaurant in addition to your shack. There had to be some driving force behind that reasoning my friends! I think I counted three cooks in the kitchen (it was an open kitchen you could see into). The third one didn't come out of hiding until we were leaving though. No wonder you are having a hard time keeping up retard! HIRE MORE HELP AND DON'T OPEN YOUR DOORS AGAIN UNTIL YOU DO!

Stay tuned for more rantings of a self-proclaimed food critic. Next up is Texas Roadhouse Grill, and The Bombay House.


shameonyou said...

Youre the worst food critic ever.

Food critics are fawned over and given the best of everything, then the chef comes out to meet you and shakes your hand or at least if your are at Gordon Ramsey's establishment you get grabbed by the scruff of your neck and thrown out into the street. You don't get ANY of that!

Next time... let me know, and I can take my irritation at the staff out on you and throw you out. Then you can say you have been treated like a real critic and I can feel better about the fact that you have once again jinxed me into having a less then fulfilling dining experience.

I figure they get paid by the hour at Market Street. Fifty dollars per hour to be exact. ::cringe::

I do want to go back just for the oysters tho. I think that I will maybe stick with the shellfish next time.

And before anyone leaves a comment like, "I'd never go there anyway cause they have fish", it really is a nice place and it was also brand spanking new. Places don't get that popular for no reason. I would still recommend everyone go try it out.

foodie said...

Shameonyou, touch me and you die! I don't know how I feel about you grabbing me by the scruff of my neck and throwing me into the street!!!

Besides, I said that I would go back again because the oysters were awesome, and the waiter was a retard!

Kristeee said...

You know, it sounds like we should just make you some credentials. We'll get you a badge and you can print up some "Foodie Tells All" shirts and take at least one Foodie-shirt-wearing friend with you wherever you go. Maybe you'd get a little more attention.

Seriously, though - have you ever looked into becoming a food critic on the side for some place legit? That'd be so cool.

And I don't want to curse myself, but so far I haven't had any problems at eating establishments in your presence. Just on the deathball court...

kristen said...

My parents love the Marketplace Grill; at least the one is Salt Lake. They claim that it is one of the more decent seafood joints in the area.

No offense foodie, but you are bad luck. That place in AF that we hate has been so rotten to us.....It's a shame too, because they have pretty good food.