Things of Late

MERRY CHIRTSMAS EVERYONE!!!

Since it has been a little while since my last post, I figured I would catch everyone up on the latest happenings from my life.

The past few three weeks have included, but may not be limited to:

• A new job at Costco Bakery
• Another flat tire
• A brother's wife who is expecting for the first time.
• A new apartment (same as the one in the summer)
• Another few pounds lost (45 total for the year!)
• A new pair of jeans that are a lower size. First time in 7 years to fit into this size!
• A brother with a brand new job.
• A graveyard shift that kicked my butt.
• A new Kitchen Aid Mixer
• A few days off to enjoy the holiday with my family.

I am sure there are more things that have happened. The lack of sleep this week has affected my thinking abilities more than it already is compromised!

Jealousy or Too Overconfident?

I know that some of you out there do not listen to country music. Nor do you have any intention of even liking it. Therefore, you didn't watch the CMA Awards show last night on television. I however, quite enjoy country music, and I did catch the last part of the program. Even though you don't listen to this kind of music, many of you I do know, watch a little show called American Idol.

Last years winner, Carrie Underwood, is tearing up country music. She has already won a few awards, but last night she won Female Vocalist of the Year. She was up against some of country music's best such as Faith Hill, Martina McBride, Sara Evans, and Gretchen Wilson. The best part of this show was not simply the fact that this young girl just beat out these other amazing female singers, but the reaction of Faith Hill when she realized she just lost to the American Idol girl. I actually kind of thought that Faith Hill was going to win, so when the screen showed a live shot of all of the nominees, I was watching Faith to see her reaction. Apparently Faith thought she was going to win too. (If that link doesn't work, then try this and click the link at the bottom of the page. You are going to want to fast forward till about 2:40 left in the main video stream.)

I saw the reaction, and quickly turned to my mom to see if she noticed it too. She did not. This morning at work I asked my co-wokers and sissy if they saw it, and none of them did either. None of them believed me either. My friend Jaime told me that it was on the news, so I knewthen, that I wasn't just seeing things! The articles state that Faith says she was just kidding, but you can see in the video that she was irked a bit by the news she wasn't the winner!

Partying/Moving

Apparantly when you go to McGraths Fish House for your birthday, you end up wearing one of these nifty little fish hats. My personal opinion is that it is better than any kind of paper crown you might get at Burger King. Too bad this only happens at the end of dinner with the waiter holding it on your head, instead of being able to wear it all during dinner to embarass you or something! Doesn't her nephew Sam look so cute!

We were able to finally surprise my friend Jaime for her birthday this week. Come to think of it...surprise her with anything for that matter! A couple of years ago, a few of us tired to throw her a surprise party for her brithday, which ended very, VERY badly. Other surprises that at least I have tried, such as a gift or whatever, and she goes out and buys it before anyone else can. Jaime seems to always find ways to spoil every possible surprise someone might try. All I can say, is that IT IS ABOUT FREAKING TIME!!!

On a different note...it appears as though I am going to move back into my sissy's apartment in South Orem. She and her hubby just purchased a town house just outside of Lehi in Saratoga Springs. Their contract isn't up until January, and the management will charge them $2000 to get out! I will move back in a couple weeks and help out with half of their rent. If I found a roommate, then the two of us could split it, and help them out even more. Since all of my friends are otherwise occupied; (married, shackin up, engaged, purchased their own, or too set in their existing living situations) it looks as though it is just gonna be me!

If I could write a memoir, the title might be....

Ber.

Bertrude:

Big Bertha.

Larz.

The Iron Bobbie Lady gives away their position.

"Why you hidin' in Da BOOSHES?"
"Cuz I'm wanted in fo counties fo aumed robbery"

I brought the cheese with me.

My zit is visable in CHINA.

I've been BIZZY.

FATLARD: a memoir.

The Stupid creme brulee!!!

The Babbling Brook.

"Pigs is as smart as dogs."

Mmmm... Sushi!

Dar! Dar! Dar!

I was NOT home schooled!! Stop asking!

That’s just mean.

Skipping the last lap.

"I would misplace my head if it wasn't attached" by Amber Jones

"I Struggle!"

Not Trying

I am a younger, unbelievably attractive woman, who just so happens to be single. Right now in my life, I am not gonna feel depressed, angry, or cheated about the fact that Mr. Right has not come knocking at my door! This may shock some of the more "multiply and replenish the earth at the age of 19 crowd" who have 6 kids, no money, no life, no education, and who enjoy spending all their energy cleaning and cooking and otherwise being the happy little housewife. This is in no way meant to be degrading to those who have chosen this life, it just would drive me crazy! I like (somewhat) the position I am in.

Minus a few minor changes I need to make, my life is pretty good! I have (finally) my education, I have a job (kinda falls into the change category but still...) which I am good at, I have family close by, and pretty wonderful friends. Who needs a dumb boy to come and screw that up! Just kidding! I am not anti-marriage or boys or dating even. I am simply trying to make my point that I am going to live my life, and when and if that boy comes along, I will roll right along with it.

Tell me if any of you have heard it before or if you are hearing it now from family or friends in regards to dating, etc:

"I wish that (insert your name here) would just try!"

Or maybe you have heard this one:

"(Your name here) just doesn't try!"

This one is a doozy though:

"Did you know (your name) that the risk for women having a child with Downs Syndrome is higher in women over 40?"

How exactly is that supposed to sound to someone? They say it is meant to be rude, but with what intention is it meant? It sure isn't funny...at least to me it isn't funny. It is especially not funny when you are out and about with these people and they say stuff like this to others whom you may run into.

I have not quite figured out why exactly I am not trying. Nor do I really want to get into it. I attend my church singles ward, I socialize. I may be living at home still, but that will change fairly soon. I went to school to better myself, and my situation, and meet new people. It isn't my fault that the entire time I was surrounded by four, not-so-good boys. There was a gay druggie; a married druggie; a single, pot head druggie; and a young, single try-to-be-good-wanna-be druggie. How can I compete with that?

Or, another good one I got was from a friend's BF. It wasn't directly told to me, but he posed the question that maybe I might be gay. I have just laughed that one off, but, to everyone else, it appears as though I am sitting at home with my frilly white dress on. In the meanwhile, twiddling my thumbs, just waiting for the doorbell to ring and Mr. Right on the other side come to whisk me away to the temple. Is that not what I am supposed to do in the Mormon culture?! ERR! WRONG! SORRY! NOT GONNA PLAY THAT GAME!


On the lighter side of things, here are a few pics of some random outings with my friend shameonyou21, and another friend Krissy:

Shameonyou and I went for a walk on the Jordan River Parkway trail in Lehi.
I stopped cause my feet were killin me, but Shameonyou was ready (as usual) for me with her camera in my face!

Same outing, just a rare time I actually pose for a pic.
I was not having a good hair/clothes/anything day on this one!

On Pioneer Day, I went golfing with Shameonyou, her boyfriend Randy , & another friend of ours, Krissy. Again, Shameonyou with her camera in action. I am not wearing white nylons either!

Me and Krissy searching for one of the many golf balls we lost.

Krissy was in a car accident a few months before this. The sad thing was, she
did better than both Shameonyou and I, & she was lopsided the whole time!

Shameonyou and I at a restaurant in Park City called "The Blind Dog"
Doesn't shameonyou look fabulous!!! It was her birthday!

If You're Going Through...

If anyone listens to Country music, there is one fairly new song which has summed up my entire summer. It is called "If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins. If you have heard it, you know that some of the lyrics are:

"You feel like there is a sign there on your back, that says 'I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has.' Things go from bad to worse, you think they can't get worse than that...and then, THEY DO." "If you're going through hell, keep on moving, face that fire, don't look back, you might get out, before the Devil even knows you're there!"

The only difference between that and my summer job is that unfortunately the Devil knew I was there, but somehow I convinced him that I was cool, and I GOT OUT!!!

Ok, so it wasn't that easy, and it has felt like hell at times. Saturday's 2nd game of the playoffs got rained out. I have been praying all season for a rain out, and the one day I didn't...the game was called. That meant that there was a potential for a double header on Sunday. If the Orem Owlz won the first game, they would play another right after, which would then start a whole new playoff series with another potentially two games. I hated Sunday games, not only for the fact that it was Sunday, but there only ever was about 200 people at most, and so it was soooo slow, and there wasn't much point in us being there.

Luckily the Owlz got behind in the game from the first inning, and then got trounced after the other team hit a grand slam to put them up for good. Owlz lose 9-3. We were all sooo happy! It mostly meant that we could finally get away from our boss, whom we have all come to realize has been cheating and lying and stealing. Not a very nice man, so we all have felt as though we were in hell!

My hell is now over, and I can get on with trying to find a grown-up-real-people-job. I have applied at both Lehi and Orem Costco's, for their bakery department. I must follow up with them in the next day or two, and I am pretty confident I will get at least one of them. Maybe more Orem instead of Lehi, for lots of dumb reasons I won't bore you with.

Anyway, I have my life back, and that means trouble!

By Golly I Think I've Done It!

After much headache, and enduring the summer from way down under, I think I may have finally finished everything so I can actually graduate. YES!!! HOORAY!!!

I think UVSC is plotting against me though. If it isn't fighting with my department advisor to return my phone calls so I may actually register for my internship, or trying to convince the Executive Chef that this job really does count as an internship, it is petitioning the school to give me my money back for a class I never took, and convincing the College that I really did complete all of my requirements for graduation. Even if my unofficial transcripts say I didn't!

I thought the hardest part of this ordeal was going to turn my evaluations into my Executive Chef. I feared he would finally tell me to my face (since I previously heard it through the grapevine he didn't think my internship was hard enough) this internship wouldn't count. That was the easiest part of everything. He was so awesome, made some small talk with me, and then I left before he realized where my internship was, and the whole situation regarding that!

The next step was going to pay the tuition required for the 8 credit internship. I was planning about $1200-$1300. Come to find out it was almost $1700. I knew tuition had increased again, but not that much. While goofing around on the registration site back in June, I registered for 8 credits just to get an idea of how much tuition would be. I thought I immediately dropped them all, but now they are telling me that I have an "unauthorized withdrawal" and holds all over my records because of it.

A 3 credit accounting class still on my class schedule for the summer. I never went, nor had any intention of going to it. According to the school, even though I thoroughly explained to them the situation, I still owe the money for the credits. I can petition to get it back, and get the holds on my records but that will take two weeks. Who can sit on that much money for two weeks!!!??? I get paid crap for working harder than my boss does, and doing his job for him, so that is certainly not working for me!!!

If that weren't enough, I just wanted to confirm that I had, in fact, completed all of the requirements for graduation. Granted this was an unofficial evaluation, so that gives me some hope that this institution for higher education isn't trying to screw me over! The transcripts read I have yet to complete the first two semesters of the core culinary classes. Meaning, the school thinks I haven't taken two semesters of classes that are pre-recquistites to get into the third semester of cooking classes, and to be able to complete my internship.

Which lame office assistant is responsible for that stroke of genius?

I'm Homeless!!!

Ok, so I am not really actually homeless, but I feel like it because my sissy dropped a bomb shell on me and gave me a matter of hours to move out of her apartment. JERK! Just kidding! I just had to move home and didn't really want to! I guess it is good, cause now I have my parents' neighbor, who is a real estate agent, giving me a listing of good places to check out. I can take my time and not stress about hurrying to get into a place before I got kicked out. All a matter of perspective I guess!

Now that I finally got my internship registered, I have some evaluations I must complete and turn into the Culinary Arts Department, so I can actually graduate. Among them is a little checklist evaluation which my boss will use to rate my performance. I know I should get a good evaluation from him, but he is the biggest idiot, and who knows what he will actually do. If it turns out to be negative for some strange reason, I will go over his head to the Assistant General Manager of the team, and make her do it instead!

The other two papers are for me to rate my experience over all. The following is one of those sheets with how I really feel like answering the questions. Any suggestions on how to make them sound better, and more official and positive would be greatly appreciated since I have kind of an irritated feeling in my stomach every time I think about going to work for this guy. Only two more weeks of this horrid job!!!

"How could your internship have been more valuable to you?"

- My boss could've been someone other than the dink that he is.

"What were the benefits/advantages to interning at this site?"

- I got to meet some pretty cool people who helped me endure this experience. Too bad one of them up and moved to Las Vegas, now I don't know what I am going to do!

"Provide suggestions for interns that may want to select this site."

-Run! Run away as far and as fast as you can!

"Provide suggestions for the internship program."

-Keep all interns away from this man. He is the psycho of the world.

"Other comments."

-Please let me graduate, I endured the summer from Hell!

I am Officially an Intern!!!

Ok, so technically this last stint of summer classes end last Friday the 11th. Today, I finally and officially got registered for this internship I have been stressing over. For those who don't know or haven't heard the long drawn-out saga that has been my summer; sit down, shut-up and hold on for what will be a bumpy ride.

Most know about my "pastry internship" that turned into me being the official brownie and rice crispie maker, and pre-made cookie arranger for kids' pizza parties. After two weeks, I decided that I was better than that...turns out maybe I could have stuck it out, at least I would have had stuff taken care of sooner rather than now. Anyway, as soon as I come home I inform the powers that be in my program that it didn't work out down in Lake Powell and that I was searching for another way to complete it.

A couple of mis-communications happened with one potential job a of couple weeks after I came home, but then I got a job working with the Orem Owlz Minor League Baseball Team. I immediately filled out new paperwork to get registered for the internship credit hours through the school, but neither the Department Advisor, nor the Department Chair (or the Head Chef) were in when I tried. I finally caught the Advisor in her office, and gave her the paperwork and she said she would pass it on for approval, but the Chef was out of town until the following week.

To make a long story probably even longer (just kidding), I then started calling to check back to see if it had been approved and if I could register for the credits yet. I tried back for about a month with no luck in getting either person to either answer their phone in their office, or return any messages left on voice mail or respond to any e-mails I left. Yeah, total lack of professionalism on their part, and it started to irritate me like no other. I finally got a phone call back after I had been calling leaving messages everyday for about a week for the Advisor. She then tells me I am cleared to go ahead and register. I was so excited, I ran over to my parents house to use the internet and register for this dang class so I might actually be able to graduate.

Of course, things go from looking optimistic and hopeful to worried and even more irritated that this thing is never going to happen. The dates of the "internship class" were over in May, and I couldn't register. Thinking that my Advisor can surely override that minor detail, I immediately call her back. She is of course not answering her phone. The weekend goes by and I call her again Monday morning and amazingly, she answers. She tells me she can't do anything about it. She will send an e-mail to the registrars office and see what can be done. This was the middle of July at this point.

I give her a few days, and try her back. No answer. Tried again...many times. No answer again, and again and again. Finally this morning I am gettting fed up with everything and I call her again, and she answers! YEAH! HALLEJUIAH! IT'S A MIRACLE!

She says to me: "Oh I haven't heard from them yet, let me see what I can do, I will call you back."

I am thinking to myself "Yeah right she will call back." She did, and I finally am registered!!!! GLORY DAY!!! Remember above when I said that the 11th was the last day of the summer semester? And today is the 17th? Isn't there something a little fishy about that? I don't care, I am an intern, and now the only sucky part left is number one, paying the tutition, and number two, growing up and having to go get a real people job!!!

SCARY THOUGHT: Me a grown up? Not a chance!

New Job

Most of you already know, but I have a new job. I am currently working with the Orem Owlz Baseball Team. They are a Minor League Rookie team who only play a half a season because most of the guys who play, just barely got drafted out of college and some right out of high school. This is their second year in Orem, but they are essentially the same team as the Provo Angels, only with a new name, new owners, a new stadium (UVSC's new stadium is one and the same).

I don't exactly have an official title, but if you must insist on me giving you one, I am the Assistant Concessions Director/West Concession Stand Manager/Pasta Cook/Pizza Cook/Bookkeeper/Gopher/Slave to the actual concessions director. How was that for a title? What? You asked!

I work mostly when the team plays games at home, but given my title, I usually end up getting called in to work (even though I am not an on call employee technically) to do everything my boss has been too lazy to do himself. I am starting to feel like Sandra Bullock's character in her film with Hugh Grant a few years ago called Two Weeks Notice. It seemed as though my boss could get along just fine before I came along, and now, it seems as though he is completely helpless and cannot make one little decision without me.

I have been working for about a month now getting ready for the season to start, finalizing menu items, etc. The season is only two weeks young, and I think I already have over 200 hours put in. The season goes through the end of September, so there are a lot more hours to be had. My boss came to me the other night very concerned with the number of hours I have been putting in. He said that the owners will have a fit if I get overtime. He schedules me on game days at 10 a.m. and the first couple of nights I wasn't getting home until 1 a.m. or later the next morning, he calls me early on the mornings of my days off to come do some paperwork, or whatever else, and he wonders why I have so many hours??? Dude, I am only doing what I am told, and working when I am scheduled like a good little employee should right???

I have received a raise already, which is a good thing I guess. I should be flattered that he thinks so highly of me, and that my work ethic and abilities are proving valuable to the organization, and that I could use this guy as a great reference in the future possibly... HOWEVER, HE IS DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!

The other challenging part of my job is managing a bunch of 15 and 16 year olds. Holy drama of the century! Every night it is one story after another about why they need to leave early, and their mom is coming to get them at 8:30 so they have to be done, or so and so is bugging them (some so and so's ARE really annoying and DO get on everyone's nerves, but GROW UP AND DEAL with it!), or what should they do now even though two seconds ago I told them to wipe down all the counters under all the appliances and none of it has been done yet. I do get to work with a couple of ladies who are mom's of a couple of other employees (none of whom are in my stand mind you) and they are cool which makes it so I don't go home with a bigger headache than I already do! (Kristen, you work with one of them at your Jr. High, her name is Laura Taylor--she is so awesome! She is the second lead in the West stand, so we get to count inventory together every game and stay until all the inventory and money is counted at the end of every night.)

It really isn't too bad of a job. Like I said, mostly just drama, but it gives me experience doing things that I probably wouldn't really evey consider before. Once all the kids settle down a bit, I think it might go very smooth, and will probably actually turn out to be kinda fun--even though I don't ever get to see any of the games. If anyone ever wants to come visit, just come to the West concession stand and ask the cashier to yell for me in the back. I wont be able to chat for long, or give you free stuff, but I can say hi, and you can make fun of me in my little hat and apron!

Evolution of Dance

As of late, all of my inspiration is coming from my good friend shameonyou21. Maybe it is because I have no job and I am easily influenced by her corruptive behavior, or maybe she is just so darn inspiring!

Anyway, I got this link from her yahoo page and I must say, it is so hillarious. It brought back some memories which I thought were best forgotten. I bet you will have the same experience and probably even remember doing most of these!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

The Newest Edition of the Jones Family

Wow what a week! I went on a trip to Ohio to visit my family with my mom, and we ended up having to pay an extra $300 to change our flight to come home earlier because the security alarm selling group got moved to Denver from Cincinnatti because it was a much better area. We did get to watch about four days of baseball games, which if you know my family, is a normal way to spend vacations.

We got to fly home on the same flight as my baseball player brother because he was coming home for the birth of his second child. The doctors were going to induce labor Saturday morning, but since my brother couldn't get a flight out from Columbus, Ohio until late afternoon on Saturday, they decided to wait until Sunday morning to induce labor since they were basically working around Mitch's schedule anyway. We arrived in Salt Lake about 9 p.m. Saturday night, and drove my brother home to his house in Springville. We arrived there about 10 p.m. and left shortly thereafter. About midnight my sister-in-law's water broke all by itself. Talk about mind over matter! We have all been fearful that Tavi would go into labor before her husband could make it home for the birth. I guess that baby just needed his daddy to be there before he would budge an inch!

My other nephew has been quite the proud big brother. He gets mad when others are holding his baby brother because he wants to hold him and kiss him all the time. Truthfully we were all a bit surprised, because as the only grandchild on this side of the family, he has been quite spoiled and definately not starved for attention and kisses from everyone around! We are all just waiting to see how long it takes him to snap out of the "proud big brother" mode and try to hit the baby with his baseball bat (he trys to hit everyone else already if you irritate him)!

Without further ado, I want you all to meet:

Cooper Shea Jones

Born May 28, 2006

8 lbs 10 oz. 20.5" Long

Road Rage-"What Not To Do"

My friend Shameonyou21 sent me this e-mail. I felt it was rather appropriate since I have felt like doing this at times. I have cleaned it up a bit, so if I happen to miss a word or two, I apologize ahead of time.

Shameonyou21 Said:

Ok... so on my Yahoo page, I have a blog by this comedian chick in new york that I read on occasion cause she occassionally makes me laugh my butt off. This is a blog entry she wrote a couple of days ago that just really amused me. Just a warning, there is some explicit language do to the fact that it was about a very stressful situation with a fellow new yorker. If you sit in traffic, you gotta read this:

The power of loooooove!

so i get this "john groom's positive quote of the day" sent to me:

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY -----------------------------

I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call can defend against its force....My love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.

-- Og Mandino

hmmmmm... well, after screaming at the jack*** guy in the minivan behind me who kept honking at me to turn right into mega traffic and then almost slamming my fist into his skull this morning as i screamed "TAKE YOUR F***ING NINE YEAR OLD PIECE OF CRAP MINIVAN THAT YOU DRIVE YOUR RETARDED KIDS TO SPECIAL OLYMPICS SOCCER IN AND GO HOME AND JACK OFF, FAGGOT..."

yeah, i suppose i haven't really made "love" my strongest weapon today..

let me rewind (i'll pretend i am quentin tarantino by starting with the ending above)

the light turned yellow, so i yielded then stopped since i was not about to plow my Phooka into the traffic...

minivan guy behind me starts honking (i have mini top down, mind you)

i raise my arm like "what the heck do you expect me to do? wreck my car? i'm stopping" (didn't say it at that point)

he starts yelling "YOU F***ING WOMAN!"

--- okay.... um... did he jus--- oh hell no... at this point my blood pressure rises partially because of the full moon still wafting in the atmosphere... and my uterus' ears perked up and said "ess-cus' me? oh no he di'int!" --- seriously, i felt my uterus waggle it's head in a very urban motion... i digress, where was i? --------

riiiiiight.... "you f***ing woman!"

then he proceeds to yell "IT'S RIGHT ON RED B**CH!"

my fallopian tubes have now rolled their sleeves up and started clenching their fists...

i sit (first off, because there's f***ing traffic, and even though it's right on red, it doesn't mean drive into a crapload of cars ---- and second, i sit just to see the vein in his forehead become visible in my rearview mirror)

i yell back "I AM NOT BUSTING MY CAR UP JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE IMPATIENT!"

he opens his minivan door (looks like the window doesn't roll down more than an inch on the driver's side.) and he starts screaming "WHAT DID YOU SAY, TWAT?" then closes his door

the left ovaries have now started in and are murmuring to each other "did he say 'twat'? seriously? the guy's in his 40s and he said twat? oh man, shit's going down"

woman in the car next to me - around 60 - yells to me "go get him, honey, what a prick"

the light is unbelievably STILL red.

i flip him my british "f" off sign (i DO drive a Mini, I may as well do the brit thing) and yell "WHY DON'T YOU GO AROUND ME, HEAD INTO TRAFFIC AND DIE - DO US ALL A FAVOUR" (not nice, but my netherregions made me say it)

he opens his door again and i see him start to get out of his piece of crap minivan

i yell "YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO SAVE YOUR LIFE AND STEP BACK INSIDE YOUR PILE OF CRAP CAR RIGHT NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU!"

he does.

light turns green.

i turn right.

as does he.

he's still behind me. we take the jughandle and are now at a light - he is now on my left side - (his passenger side window DOES roll down)

"YOU'D BETTER LEARN TO F***ING DRIVE, IT'S A RIGHT ON RED LIGHT B**CH."

now, he's screaming like a frigging fishmonger.

i - in my best harpie/fishmonger voice - scream back "LISTEN YOU MISERABLE LITTLE TOOL, I AM IN NO WAY JEOPARDIZING MY $25,000 CAR JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BUG UP YOUR ASS AND ARE IN A HURRY. BY THE WAY, NICE DENT ON THIS SIDE OF YOUR CAR!"

light turns green. he gets behind me and is tailgaiting... i tap my brakes to piss him off (oh come on, like you wouldn't snap at this point?) oh, and i may have slowed down to the same speed as the car on my left so he was totally blocked behind us. heh.

then i punched the gas and went into the left lane... and then there was another red light ) seriously i live in a town riddled with traffic lights....

he pulls up next to me on the right. and i hear him saying something through the 1 inch crack of a window and i smile sweetly, flip my american bird at him and mouth " 'f' you, loser"...

he now opens his car door and yells "YOU'RE STILL TALKING CUNT?"

and now, scroll back up to the beginning of the post for what I said back to him....

and then he turned right.... i went straight.

my fallopians high fived each other and my uterus gave a sigh of relief.

Lake Powell Adventures

Ok, so my adventures this summer at Lake Powell have finally begun. The not so fun part of it is, I am in the middle of the dessert with an extremely ghetto living situation. I don't know what I am going to do! Just kidding it isn't all that bad. I can do anything for about three months right?

I mean, I don't have to have cable, or a wireless internet connection in my room, nor do I have to have more than one working computer to share between 6000 employees the entire summer in the common room that smells like poo. I guess I can drive 20 minutes to the nearest town, and use the internet in the public library to post messages on my blog for my friends to be able to keep track of what I am doing for the summer right?

Does this mean I am spoiled because I don't like having to do all of these things? I probably have been spoiled, and I should be grateful for any communication with the outside world besides the US Postal Service. Gosh I am a shallow person!

Just a note for all of you who actually check this on a regular basis. Now that work has started and I have to make a little trip to be able to use the computers, I will try to post often, but in all honesty, I wouldn't expect more than one per week. Sorry if this inconveniences anyone, but that is just the way it is gonna be!

Here are a few pictures of my surroundings. I will try to get more once things sort of stabalize a bit and a routine is set. As of right now, I am one of two evening pastry chefs. Things are kind of boring right now because we are still in the beginning of the season, but I will report more on that once things pick up a bit. My shift is from about 2-10 p.m. right now (Arizona time, which is one hour behind Utah time. They are the same time all year round. No DST here!) and I am possibly looking to get a morning job, just to stay busy. I am so tired of sitting around in my "hole" doing nothing but watching episodes of "That 70's Show" and various other DVD movies which we brought with us and bought down there at Walmart (all of which have been watched by this point).

We came down last Friday because they told us that would be the only way to get into our rooms. Human Resources closed by 5 p.m. and would remain closed all weekend. Orientation started early Monday, so in order to avoid getting up at dawn and driving five hours to make it on time. All we did was go to Denny's, and Walmart a few times and just wander around Page, AZ. to give us something to do. We bought a Sega Street Fighter Game that you just plug straight in to the TV. I tell you, we got very desperate!!! Well, here are a few pics to give you an idea of what it is like around here.

This is one view around the dorms where we stay.
No one ever said this place was ugly!


But somebody should have said this place was long ago. "THE HOLE" as
we have affectionately deemed it. This is a view from the doorway. There is
another dresser to the right of the one in the picture.


Another view of my room from the opposite wall.
We bought tri-fold lounge chairs (the blue thing against the wall)
to watch TV or play our video game. That wasn't the
original intention, but since the actual water is a 30-40
minute walk from the dorms, we improvised a bit.

Just a quick update since I originally wrote this post. Things were going along alright down here until a couple of days ago when my friend/roommate decided she hated her job after two days and called her parents to come get her. She left yesterday afternoon. This is going to be an interesting summer since the majority of the people here are drunkards when they aren't working. Hey, now that is a new way of meeting lots of new friends while I am here...pick up a new habit! Yeah right. Either this is going to suck hard, or it will be a new, fun, and challenging experience for me. Three months is a long time when you are stuck in a "hole" with nothing but four DVD's you have already watched. Maybe I should steal some from my family when I go home next.

Famous Friend

I came home from work the other day with a big note from my sister that said: "Check this out!" She drew an arrow pointing to a folded out pamphlet that came in the mail which looked like this on the front:

This little pamphlet was one of those side folding out things with many pages. The point of the pamphlet was advertising how many bachelors degress UVSC offers. The arrow on my sister's note was pointing to this page in particular:

This picture was also on the UVSC home page for a while. I just feel so privileged to have such a famous friend, and to be able to say, "I know her!!!"

Changes

Change is good isn't it? I hate feeling like an adult sometimes. Having to actually grow up and face the big bad world is kind of a scary thought for me! Some life changes have taken place/will take place in my world in the next little bit.

First of all, for the first time in about 7 years, I find myself without any church responsibility. This minor change took place about a week ago unofficially, and then officially yesterday morning. I have always had at least something to do, so I'm not sure what to do with myself. I will probably get some new position next week, but it is kind of like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

The next change occurring in my life is in regards to my internship to finish up my schooling. I got one! It will be in Lake Powell working in the pastry in the resort hotel in the area called Whaweep which is near Page, Arizona. This unfortunately means some bad news for my friends Streets and Nemesis. My job starts May 1, so I will not be able to go visit them as I had originally planned. Actually it is probably more bad news for me since they are already in the United Kingdom. I am so sad! I had such high hopes for my trip too!

I can't believe I am going to spend the whole summer in one of the biggest vacation spots in the entire state of Utah! I am going down with a friend from school, so I will actually have a friend to start out with. I may actually come home a different color other than white and let's hope that color isn't bright red!

Success!

First off, I must add #'s 21 & 22 & 23 to my previous list. #21 I was reminded of by my good friend Jill, #22 I just remembered today, and #23 happened today. So, "You know you struggle when..."

#21- You turn left on a red arrow, but green light; and or you go straight on a green arrow, but red light.

#22- You drop your cell phone and it rolls under your car in the parking lot, so you must get all the way out of your car, shut the door, and get on your belly to reach under the car to retrieve it.

#23- You are in the "Gap" and while searching through the jeans for your size you notice a size "0 R" and you think to yourself, "What kind of a size is OR?" When in actuality the size is 0 regular.

Now, for my success of the day. Jaime, Kristen and I were shopping at the outlet mall today in Park City, Utah. We went to lunch at a little Mexican restaurant when we arrived, and upon return home we went to dinner at Wendy's. I must say that I escaped the whole day without spilling anything on myself! Not one stain befell my clothes today from food. Another exciting thing is I didn't even spill my water glass, or tip anything else over on the table which has been known to happen on occasion. YEAH ME!

"STRUGGLING"

You know you just struggle when...

1- You run the "Fun Run" (the 1.5 mile run) at school and you come in last place even though you skipped the last lap.

2- You get two traffic tickets within two months of one another, when you haven't received a ticket in 7 years.

3- One of those tickets comes on the morning of your birthday and two people drive by while pulled over on the side of the road and wave at you.

4- You turn the radio up to near "speaker-blowing" level so you don't have to listen to your own voice while singing your favorite Martina McBride songs.

5- You receive your body fat percentage, and you have to scroll all the way to the bottom of the page only to find out that you are "clinically obese."

6- Your two year-old nephew bats his eyes and tells you he wants to go to McDonald's to get an Egg McMuffin and without even hesitating, you take him and buy him one.

7- You are trying to sit down on the couch and you end up almost falling on the floor instead.

8- You are extremely worried about the shoes the bride has picked out for her bridesmaids because they have a bit of a heel. 'Nuff said.

9- You have to wake up early even on days you don't need to so you don't miss any episodes of one of your favorite television programs.

10- You realize you need your friend to be your personal secretary in addition to her existing church responsibilities.

11- You are trying to plan to go out with friends to eat sushi on the night of your brother's wedding.

12- You go to the airport to pick up a friend at the gate, and you drive down the "taxis, busses, and limos only lane" only to back up to get out, and you realize that had you driven another five feet forward, there was an exit.

13- You have to refer to most of your life as one big giant "ski break." (A ski break is a term which I got from my favorite missionary companion which basically means the dumb, stupid, embarassing things that you do--like my list here).

14- You are forced to carry a Tide Stain Stick in your purse because you cannot get through a meal without spilling something on yourself. (Some people just can't help the fact that they have a "built in shelf" that catches any remote food particle that may possibly fall out of their food).

15- Because of reason #14, your decision on what to eat that day is based on the color of shirt you are wearing, will it hide a possible spill?

16- You have to get your daily outfits approved by your little sisters.

17- Your friend absolutely refuses to play Monopoly with you because you "supposedly throw things," and they are afraid of you.

18- You will not speak your mission language to friends actually from that country because they speak English better than you.

19- You have to transfer half of your personal belongings from the passenger seat to the back seat, and from the back seat of your car to the trunk whenever you have a passenger riding with you.

20- You have to make lists which point out why exactly you struggle.

Let's face it. Some people just struggle, and some of us struggle more than others!

The Impossible Day

In my defense, I wrote a post about a month ago but the stupid blog-spot decided to only post one paragraph. I tried to save what I had, and hurry and re-write it, but then the website deleted the entire thing. Anyway, I got busy and all of those fun excuses. After that it was just a matter of being stubborn since all I got was crap from Kristen and Jaime. I can't help myself! That’s why they call me stubborn!

For this post, I decided to write a bit about the day which nobody thought would ever come and then post a couple of pictures from the day. The day of which I am speaking is my brother Brady’s wedding. The blissful day occurred on February 9, 2006. For those of you who remember the day I said that he finally announced his engagement, yes it was just a short time ago, and yes the wedding did take place rather fast. From the outside looking in, everything was great. The flowers, the awesome decorations, and the gigantic buffet table which included all-you-can-eat shrimp and cocktail sauce. From the inside looking even more inside, I have come to a few conclusions about Mormon weddings.

Conclusion #1:

Wedding receptions should only take place at reception centers. This is not only a stress free tip for the parents, but it saves each member of the family the headache of setting up, and what’s worse, cleaning up until all hours of the night after the couple has already left. Some people spend more money dressing up the LDS chapels to not look like the church that it is. If they don’t have the usual sheet cake/frozen cheesecake crap, they are spending BOOKU bucks on catering that nobody else really appreciates. They are just there for the free food anyway. Most probably didn’t even bring a gift.

Reception centers do all of the decorating and catering, all you have to do is pick the menu and the style of cake you want. The other great part about reception centers is the fact that all you (by you I mean the couple and the families of the couple) is show up and then leave when it is over. If nothing else, please make sure you have other people doing all of this. The last thing anyone wants is to have to stay and clean up after you have already had a long day. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. The reception center vs. the church gym, and I personally have to choose the reception center. Brady’s wedding was in a church, and we got very lucky. The stake was a having a Valentine’s dance the following night, and said they would clean up if they could use the decorations. Despite this, we were still there cleaning until 2:00 a.m.

Conclusion #2:

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get married around Valentine’s Day! Brady was a bozo, and didn’t get his act together in time to give his poor [wife] any time to plan anything, except for the weekend before the most expensive holiday ever. Many items, specifically flowers in this case, were like twice the price as they would have been even two weeks before. I guess the “custom” is that the groom pays for the flowers. In our case however, we were quite shocked to learn that the bride (ok, so it was pretty much mostly the bride’s mother) spent over $1500. Not only did every table have a big vase of flowers, each of these vases had roses in them. Roses are the worst during this holiday. I think they almost triple in price. The four, 8 ft. buffet tables were strung with roses, the bridesmaids had roses in our bouquets, and the bride had a huge bouquet of roses. While talking to my sister who got married in July, she said that she spent barely $40o and she had two receptions! Just say NO to February weddings!

Conclusion #3:

It is a very good thing that only Brady has to deal with the mother-in-law. The woman drives me nuts! Going back to my first conclusion, families should just show up and let someone else stress out. We were supposed to show up to the church no later than 5:30 p.m. for pictures. When we arrived at exactly that time, the mother of the bride is running around in sweats setting up the place with her husband and son also in casual attire. The photographer arrived shortly there-after, the bride and groom just got there and spent almost an hour just getting ready. The bride (her name is Lauren by the way) asks her mom to help her, and the mom tells her she is too busy getting the rest of the stuff set-up and helping get the food ready. Since my mom wasn’t doing anything, she went and helped her, but come on lady, FORGET THE DUMB FOOD AND HELP YOUR DAUGHTER GET DRESSED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT IS HER WEDDING DAY!

I am sure that Lauren didn’t think anything of it, because her mom is that disorganized all the time. I felt bad for the poor photographer and videographer who just wandered around taking pictures of whatever and whoever they could. The pics I am posting up came from my sister Meagan’s camera and a couple maybe came from me. Neither of us, strangely enough, took any pictures of the bride or of the bride and groom together, so I have to apologize up front for that. The reception started at 7:00 p.m. and when the first few people came, they were forced to go watch the video for a bit while the photographer finally got some pictures of the families (the bride’s family to be more specific was still taking pictures).

Conclusion #4:

Ok, so it wasn’t all bad. Like I said before, from the outside looking in, you would never know, but I have been trained be overly picky! All in all it worked out very nicely. Brady really wanted my older brother Mitch to be able to attend and be around for the wedding since he missed my sister’s wedding in the summer due to his baseball season conflicting. We didn’t know at the time when Mitch was leaving to go to spring training. We thought it could be toward the end of February, but again, Brady & Lauren wanted him there so they wanted to make sure they did it fairly early in the month. As it turns out, Mitch left exactly one week later.

Hey look I found one!

My Brothers & Nephew (Taylor, Thad, Easton, Brady, Mitch)

The church before the lights went off. The buffet table is in the middle.

The top of the cake.

The Loverly Sisters! (Meagan & Ericka)

Check out these hotties! My favorite is the one in the middle!

Look out all two year olds, here is possibly the cutest of them all!

The white chairs were rented because the mother of the bride
didn't like the way the church chairs looked. Lauren's mom is the one
on the far left. Then Meagan, my Mom, Ericka, and Gage (Meagan's BF)

I think the guy is trying to dance, but at the buffet table?
All he has to do is move about five feet the opposite direction
behind those tables in the foreground and he is on the "dance floor."
This pic shows some of the decorations. The lights and ball things
were strung horizontally across the ceiling of the church gymnasium.